Dealing with some of the emotions of a divorce in a positive way–

I recently read an article that listed three activities that the writer thought was helpful/beneficial to people going through a divorce; these activities were thought to help people process their feelings and relate their trauma to other people:

1.)    Writing-James W. Pennebaker, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas saw that relief can be as simple as freewriting for twenty (20) minutes a day, four (4) days in a row.  He indicated, “Across multiple studies, people who engage in expressive writing report feeling happier and less negative than they felt before.”  James wrote a book, Expressive Writing: Words That Heal.  It was examined in one study that almost forty percent (40%) of people who kept their traumas secret went to physicians more often that those who openly talked about them.   While writing is a great way to openly express thoughts and feelings, it is still encouraged, at a minimum that you talk about your feelings with people, possibly even a professional.

2.)    Launch a Project-A woman in New Zealand launched her wedding ring into space with a homemade rocket and another man blogged about the “101 uses for my ex-wife’s wedding dress.” Focusing those hard feelings and using them for something fun and creative can be a positive outlet to dealing with the feelings.

3.)    See it through your kids’ eyes-A statement supported by Gwyneth Paltrow  in her conscious uncoupling theory. Doctors Hadib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami wrote on Paltrow’s website, “Children are imitators by nature…If we are to raise a more civilized generation, we must model those behaviors during the good and bad times in our relationships.”   If there are children involved in your divorce, it can be beneficial for both parties to focus on what is best for the wellbeing of the children and make decisions surrounding that.

(“How To Survive Anything”)-by Brandon Specktor)

 It is rare to hear anyone say, “divorce is easy” but there are things that people can do to ease the process and transition for all parties involved.  Finding a way to deal with your emotions so that you can view and process the divorce logically, is probably one of the hardest parts.

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