Destination divorces are turning heartbreaks into holidays

beachwedding4A recent article written by Wendy Paris describes how couples are now turning their vacations into a vacation to get a divorce.   Here in Illinois, you can cite “irreconcilable differences” to get a divorce, but unless your spouse agrees to that, you still have to wait the mandatory two years.  People argue that this requirement should stay in place, so that it isn’t easy to get divorced.  They believe that we should be discouraging divorce.  In all the cases I’ve handled though, a simple thing like grounds isn’t going to keep a couple together when they want a divorce.  All they do is turn around and file the divorce under mental cruelty, which is a ground, and its easy to prove.  I’m married, and based on what I hear people testifying about in a mental cruelty grounds hearing, I guess my spouse could run to the courthouse and divorce me under mental cruelty in a minute.  Some of the things I say to him could clearly be labeled mentally cruel.  Getting up with me on a bad hair day could easily qualify.

So what is the point really?  Do we want people to start pointing the finger and causing people to blame the other to get the divorce?  That is exactly what is happening when you impose a restriction on divorce.  People don’t want it to be easy to get out of a marriage, but no one seems to care about making it hard to get married.  That is easy.  Pay a fee, fill out a piece of paper, and you are ready to go.  If the advocates for “fault divorce” really want to make a difference, they should be advocating for tougher restrictions to get married in the first place.  Make them take a test.  Make them undergo family therapy.  Whatever they want, but I see no advantage to making people suffer through their relationship in an attempt to force them to remain married.

The article discusses the states that are hard to get the divorce processed and the steps that couples are taking to get their divorce.  On a positive note though, the couples that are traveling and receiving their foreign divorces, aren’t fighting.  There isn’t any anger fueled custody disputes or fighting over the toaster.  These are people that are amicable and positive, and don’t want to spend a lot of money fighting over their possessions.  It’s a shame that they have to go through all the trouble, when laws in their own states should reward them for settling their case, instead of fighting about it.

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