There are a lot of books and articles published regarding advice for couples prior to getting married; many regarding the dos and don’ts of building a sound, long lasting relationship or what couples must agree upon to have a fulfilling relationship. Although I don’t think one article or one book can provide all of the answers to any couple, I think there can be some good advice taken from each article or each discussion that comes from reading an article. I read an article recently from the New York Times that had thirteen (13) basic but very thought provoking and foundational basics for any couple.
The questions listed were:
1.) Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreement arose?
2.) Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers?
3.) Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us?
4.) How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?
5.) Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?
6.) What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes?
7.) Can you deal with my doing things without you?
8.) Do we like each other’s parents?
9.) How important is sex to you?
10.) How far should we be flirting with other people? Is watching pornography o.k.?
11.) Do you know all the way I say “ I love you”?
12.) What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?
Although there are many other statistics regarding the couple that sociologists have determined factor into whether or not a couple will get a divorce, it can be interesting and possibly beneficial to couples to read some of these articles and see where each of them stands.
The full article can be read here: