4 Questions to Think About When Deciding Whether To Go Through With Divorce
1. Is it the right time to get a Divorce?
Let’s face it, it’s never a good time to get divorced. Divorce often comes after a couple has “tried everything else” and can be looked at as a last resort. It is definitely the low point of a relationship and no fun to go through. It comes with a lot of emotions and is certainly a stressful time. Divorce usually comes at a point when a couple finally decides it’s time face the inevitable. Often we see clients try to justify holding off or prolonging the litigation because they are not ready to go through the stress. Clients often think it may be better “if I wait until after the holidays” or “if I wait until the children are out of school.” The reality of the matter is that there is no perfect time to go through with divorce.
Divorce should be looked at as an avenue for a brighter future or an opportunity to live out the rest of your life with more freedom. I like to think about divorce in terms of a sunset. It is inevitable that the sun will set and that it will be dark for some time. That being said, the sun will come back up again shining brighter and longer than the day before. There is never a good time to go through a tough time, but hiring an attorney can help take some of the stress and burden off of you and help you avoid some big mistakes that often occur in a divorce.
2. Am I hiring the right divorce attorney for me?
Hiring the right attorney for you is very important. It can set the tone of your divorce and affect the litigation. I highly suggest meeting with an attorney prior to hiring them to get a feel for the way they like to manage their cases, their communication style, and their personality. You don’t have to be best friends but it is important to like and respect each other enough so you can hopefully remain on the same page through your case and feel you are truly being heard. Make sure you ask the right questions during your initial consultation such as the attorney’s experience, how they prefer to communicate (email, in person, by phone) and why they think you should hire them. During that meeting is the time to get all of your questions answered big or small to set yourself up for a good relationship with your future attorney.
3. What is life going to be like after divorce?
The truth is it’s going to be different. One of the hardest parts of divorce is just accepting that simple fact. This does not mean it will be worse. More often than not, things are usually better. If you are living with someone in a close intimate environment and you are not getting along, getting a divorce and giving each other that physical space will usually help your relationship. I am fairly confident in saying that separating from a person that you are not connecting with or seeing eye-to-eye on issues will be a good thing.
Divorce should be looked at as a new beginning. It is truly a fresh start. How often do you get that in life? It is a difficult process but through it, you will learn and grow as a person. You hopefully will have more freedom to make future decisions more towards what you want out of life.
4. How will our divorce affect our children?
This is likely the most problematic issue within divorce law. It creates highly controversial and emotional issues during a divorce. Decisions involving your children are often the most difficult to make for a parent facing a divorce. It is never easy to make decisions regarding a child when you know you’re divorcing the other parent for very good reasons. Things go smoothest when the couple truly focuses on the child’s best interest and truly makes decisions that will favor the child no matter the issue faced with.
There are so many emotions involved and factors to take into consideration, it can be a lot to handle at the time, but hiring an experienced divorce attorney who has been around the block can really guide you in the right direction for your family. Attorneys can make recommendations and suggestions of things that have worked for clients in the past in similar situations. Also, family therapists are a wonder in fostering communication between parents and children through the entire divorce process.
There is never a good time to go through a rough time. Divorce should be viewed as a new beginning or as the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Do not be afraid of it. My advice is to accept it and hire a good attorney who will be there for you every step of the way and will help you move in the right direction.
If you’re ready to speak with an experienced Chicago divorce lawyer contact Anderson & Boback. Taking that first step to speak with an attorney about your situation can help you determine whether you’re ready to go through with divorce.