Anderson & Boback Logo
Children cope with a difficult divorce

Tips To Help Children Cope With a Difficult Divorce

Published
Categorized as Divorce

All parents going through a divorce will say one thing about their children–They want to act in their child’s best interest.  Unfortunately, each parent has a different viewpoint about what that best interest actually entails. Some parents feel like the best thing for their child is that no divorce occur, but in some situations, a divorce can be the best thing for the family.  I’m not here to tell you to divorce or not to divorce. Every family has to make their own decision as to what is best for them, but I’m sure we can all agree that certain things will allow your children cope with a difficult divorce and to pass through this process with the least amount of stress.  We should all strive for that.

Kids of all ages will process their stress about their parent’s divorce in different way.  How they react depends on their age, personality, and the circumstances of the separation and divorce process.  Don’t believe for a second that your child isn’t affected, because children are affected by divorce.  But with a little work and common sense, you and your spouse can get the children through this without too much damage.

11 Basic Tips to help Reduce the Stress  on the Children in a Divorce

1. The most important thing that both parents can do to help kids through this difficult time is to keep the topic of the divorce away from kids.  Even when it is true, try to avoid comments like, “I’d love to take you on vacation, if only your dad paid the child support on time.” Or “If only your mother didn’t sleep with Coach Brad, we’d all be living together right now.”  Just like you didn’t share information with your kids about the first time you drank beer behind the bleachers at the school football game or tried a marijuana cigarette, it stands to reason that you don’t share everything about your divorce with your kids.  There is no reason to share the details of your divorce with your children. They are not your friends. They are not your pals. They are your children. Protect them.

2. Minimize the disruptions to kids’ daily routines.  We see a lot of fighting about this. Moms typically will schedule the children for activities and take them to those activities if this is a household where mom has stayed home to raise the kids and dad has gone to work.  But a divorce has occurred now, and things will change.  If the children have historically played baseball, then don’t you want your children to continue doing what they love? It may be difficult, but take your child to her practices and games, even if it is your parenting time.  Your child didn’t sign up for this divorce, so both parents should do their best to keep their children in the same activities so that there is some continuity in their lives.  I represent a fair amount of fathers in divorce cases, so I’m aware of both sides of this argument.  Now that a divorce has occurred, dad needs to stop working as much and step up and help the other parent.  He often finds this difficult because mom is not only signing the kids up for activities like she always did, but now she’s gone ahead and signed them up for more activities, to the point where they are involved in something every day.  The children are so involved in activities that there is no time to spend with dad.  Moms need to realize that dads need time with their kids too, and not just to run them from place to place.  There has to be a middle ground in this area so that one or the other parent isn’t marginalized. I often tell dads that they need to step up and take their kids to practices and games, even if it is on their parenting time.  And to moms, think about how much you are signing the kids up, and if you can avoid scheduling on top of dad’s time.  Going forward, there should be an agreement as to the activities so that each parent has the opportunity to not only be involved in the pickup and drop off, but also in the choice of the activities.  A mutual agreement to the activity and parental responsibility helps alleviate the feeling of helplessness that one of the parents has when it comes to this area of the case.  If both of the parents can work out this important detail for their kids, then the kids can enjoy their activities like they always have.

3. Talk to your spouse about keeping the same routine.  This can be difficult since the parents like to do things differently.  But hopefully you can both agree that the child needs a nightly bath and needs to go to bed at a certain time.  Some things like this will give your child some continuity.  How many hours of TV watching will be allowed?  Do we want them to do their homework?  Try and talk about these types of subjects without laying blame.  “Of course Bobby could get an A on his math homework if he wasn’t watching 5 hours of TV every night at your place.”  It is difficult to come to the same point on everything, but the more you can agree to, the better the transition will be for your child.

4. Do your best to rein in negative comments about your spouse.  If you can see that you cannot control it, invest in a therapist and address those issues there.  It isn’t necessary to highlight the other parents’ deficiencies. Don’t you think your kids will figure out some of this on their own given time?  You don’t have to tell your kids that their dad is worthless because he continually misses their basketball game.  Trust me, they’ll figure it out for themselves.  So try and avoid the negative talk about the other parent.  It just makes your child feel badly and why would you want to do that?

5. If you really want to do what is in your child’s best interest, then you’ll do what you can to keep the other parent involved in the child’s life.  This is probably the hardest thing to do, especially if you really hate the other person right now. When your son has a piano recital, you know he wants his parents there watching him.  Kids cannot get enough of “watch me!” You could “forget” to tell the other parent about the recital and then sit smugly by and say, “Well if you really cared, you would have called the teacher and asked about the recital.”  You feel great now since you were able to stick it to the other parent, but how is your son feeling?  You know he is hurt and if you can avoid that, why wouldn’t you?  This divorce is difficult enough without your son feeling like his one parent doesn’t care enough to come to his recital.  No one is perfect, so just drop and email and relay the information. It is good for your child!

6. Let your child know that it is ok to still love and talk about the other parent.  Are you able to allow your child to put up a picture of his father in his room?  The sight of him might make that impossible at first, but try putting your child first.  If you were to put up a picture of your spouse in your child’s room and encourage your child to talk about him, it really helps your child.  It teaches a lot of things, like forgiveness.  Encourage your child to call the other parent at night or in the morning. I cannot get over how often I have to litigate this divorce issue in court.  Either the child is never there when the other parent calls or they are too busy to talk.  How hard is it really? While you are making dinner, call the other one up on Face-Time and let them look at each other.  Let your child take your phone to his/her room for some privacy. And for the parent calling, ask questions about your child, but avoid things like, “So is your mom in the other room with Hank?  Did he spend the night?” This call isn’t about you finding out something about your spouse. It is about you connecting with your child.

7. I’m asked a lot about how the children should be told about the divorce.  You might want to address it in therapy, and you might want to do it alone with the other parent.  This is a hard area for someone else to weigh in on, since you know the other parent the best.  If your spouse is likely to be screaming, crying and throwing of chairs, then don’t do this together.  Your children should never see that.  But if you two can sit down and calmly tell them, then that is likely best since you can both answers any questions that come up. Both parents should be reassuring their child that this isn’t their fault.  This is a problem between the two parents and has nothing to do with them. You’ll likely be able to field questions if you are both sitting there. Try and control yourself when you speak to the children.  Try and find a time when you can tell them without breaking down.  While it is ok for your child to see you cry, it will make the news of the divorce much more painful if they see their dad crying his eyes out uncontrollably.  Try and find a time when both parents are in control of their emotions-it is likely better for the children.

8. Children love to keep things the same.  If you’ve ever tried to throw away that bald Barbie doll with the melted face because it is just too ugly to keep, you know what I mean.  Or the train that your son loved which now is missing two of its wheels.  Kids will keep anything for as long as they can, even when it is broken and unusable.  They hate change! Knowing that, try and keep as many of the things the same.  Keep their same school if you can.  Keep their same set of friends.  If you have to forgo some of your parenting time so that your child can keep doing something that they’ve always done, then try and dig deep within yourself to allow that.

9. Answer your children’s questions, but do so for subjects that concern them.  You can strive for some honesty, but you don’t have to disclose “whose fault it is.”  Just keep them on topic as to what is really their business, like “will we have to move?” or “will we be changing schools?”  These are fair questions and if you don’t know the answers just yet, just tell them that.  The more you can work out with your spouse ahead of time, the less afraid the children will be about the change that is entering their lives.

10. Talk to your spouse about exchanging information so that it doesn’t occur in front of your children.  Never use your children to communicate with your spouse. Never work out the details of parenting time through your kids.  You were old enough to have these children, so you are old enough to communicate with the other parent. Although the occasional argument between parents is expected in any family, living in a battleground of continual hostility and unresolved conflict can place a heavy burden on a child.  Screaming, fighting, arguing, or violence can make kids feel worried and afraid.  Not only does a fight scare the children, but it sets a bad example for them too.  When your children are frustrated and angry, do you want them to throw things and say bad words?  Or do you want them to be able to articulate their problems and concerns?  Your children learn from you about how to handle their stress, so try your best to be a good example.

11. To the best of your ability, enforce your spouse’s rules.  If your spouse has grounded your child for swearing for instance, don’t take your child to the movies that night.  And make the punishment you do give out have nothing to do with the other parent.  For instance, the punishment shouldn’t be that he cannot go on vacation with your spouse.  Or that your child is prohibited to talk to their father that night.  I would of course speak to your spouse ahead of time to tell him/her what has happened at your house and to inform the other about the punishment, and that can be addressed during the nightly call.  But to the best of your ability, enforce the other’s punishment, since you’d surely like that done when the table is turned.

Does Family Therapy Help Children Cope with a Difficult Divorce?

I am a big proponent for therapy for the children, and even family therapy.  Therapists are trained to get people to talk and your kids will need to do that.  They might not be able to do that while you are in the room. Sometimes kids will come up with “I hate him for moving out.”  Although it is easy to kind of look the other way and let your child have those emotions (secretly enjoying with satisfaction that your child does realize what a jerk the other parent is), in the long run, I’d encourage you to explore those feelings with your child and let some repair work be done.  It isn’t in your child’s best interest to hate the other parent. Not only will you have a lifetime of problems with this child because of that view point, but your child will suffer by not having the other parent involved. Some dads will eventually walk away if it becomes too hard to manage their child’s feelings, which is a shame.  This child needs both parents, so when you see a hatred developing, get your child into therapy to resolve this. It is important to legitimize your child’s feelings, so it is ok to be sad and/or mad. But it shouldn’t go on for an extended period of time. If it starts becoming too much, too much anger toward the other parent, too sad to go to school, too ______, then have your child see a therapist to resolve some of these feelings.  It will be in your child’s best interest.

Take care of Yourself 

One of the best things you can do for your child when going through a divorce is to take care of yourself.  Don’t let your child see you gain 50 pounds or lose 50 pounds. Or start drinking heavily every night. Or hear you crying yourself to sleep.  Your children need you to take care of them, not the other way around.  This is understandably a bad time in your life, but do what you can to take care of yourself so that your child can see that things are going to be ok. Watching you fall apart makes the child feel like things are falling apart.  Finding ways to manage your own stress is essential for you and your entire family.  Keeping yourself as physically and emotionally healthy as possible can help combat the effects of stress, and by making sure you’re taking care of your own needs, you can ensure that you’ll be in the best possible shape to take care of your kids.

The divorce will be hard on everyone, even in a “uncontested divorce situation.”  Know that and plan for it if you can.  The better you both handle yourselves, the better your child will cope with a difficult divorce and adjust to this big change in their life.

If you are facing divorce or have questions about how to help the children cope with this difficult life changing event, we can help.  Contact Anderson & Boback to schedule confidential consultation related to any aspect of a difficult divorce in Illinois.

 

 

Was this information helpful?
YesNo
You May Also Like

2022 has not been the most stellar year for the economy and market performance.  We have seen increases in interest rates and increasing prices on everything. Money issues fuel divorce and that is no exception in a down economy. The…

Divorce is never easy but having a good relationship with your divorce attorney can make it a lot easier. To that end, it’s important to know there are things you can do the help your divorce attorney represent you starting…

Family law cases are terribly hard – both emotionally, and financially.  Working with an attorney to bring your case to resolution can feel like you are hemorrhaging money, especially if the case is highly disputed and the other party is…

Child support is a right of any child in Illinois. The goal is to keep the child in the same position as they would have been if the parents had stayed together. Child support is calculated with a statutory equation…

For those with children, one of the most challenging aspects of divorce is learning how to co-parent together during their separation. For many families, the emotions surrounding the divorce—anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, and so on—can spill over into their parenting…

As Chicago divorce attorneys, we often get the question from spouses contemplating divorce is "Are there mistakes they could possibly make before they even file for divorce? The answer to their question is ABSOLUTELY! Many people don’t realize that you…

CONNECT WITH LAURA
Categories
Archives
Anderson & Boback small logo

Download our Divorce Planning Guide today!

Get the information you need to prepare for divorce with our free resource Guide to Planning for Your Divorce.

What our clients are saying

What our clients are saying

I was very happy with my experience with Anderson & Boback. While no divorce is ever cheap or easy, I feel that my attorney, Laura, did everything as quickly, easily, and professionally as possible. I really appreciate their help and highly recommended them.
Kelly H.
Fierce! Results driven attorneys. Comparatively.. you will pay, but in the end, you get what you pay for.Would refer and hire again.
Gwendolyn T.
Jessica C. Marshall , partner at Anderson & Bobak is one of the best attorneys I had a pleasure to work with! I wish I had found her sooner in my divorce process. I had a post decree military pension issue and it was resolved quickly, efficiently and effectively. I... didn’t even have to go to court or interact with my ex- spouse. The billing was also very straightforward and honest. Highly recommended attorney!read more
Joanna K.
Jessica is a dedicated, intelligent and a skillful attorney. Her arguments are skillfully articulated. She helped me in getting my divorce finalized in 2018. She then helped in getting the past due child support from my X-spouse and then recently in getting the... maintenance alimony payments settled.It is not very common that a father gets the child custody but with her help, I was able to get custody my my 3 children. I have also had the pleasure of meeting with Janice. Both of them represented me during negotiations. Concise, to the point, friendly, articulate and great at explaining the legal Jargon.I would highly recommend their services.read more
Raza K.
If you want your divorce done in an effective and seamless manner, Jessica Marshall is the lawyer for the job! She is dedicated and agressive, offered sound council that put me at ease, and was just overall a perfect fit for me and my case. My divorce with an extremely... difficult ex was unbelievably frustrating, emotionally charged, and overwhelming to me. Jessica helped me to navigate through it all while making sure the results were achieved in a reasonable timeframe. Jessica is just overall fantastic and I higly recommend her to anyone who is looking for a phenomenal divorce attorney!read more
Rachel J.
Kim Anderson is an awesome attorney. She fights for the best interest of her client. I highly recommend hiring her because she is brilliant when it comes to the law and she keeps everything upfront and to the point.
Drucilla S.
I was really Lucky to get a referral to this firm. It's overwhelming when you have to go to court for anything and it's even more to find a lawyer that will represent you like you want.I am not married but we still fall under the same laws for custody orders and... might I mention not being married I feel like allowed the other parent to constantly have me in court. I feel like a Divorce decree would of stopped a lot of the silliness I endured with my child's father, I could be wrong.I was in court the first time with a ok lawyer from 2009-2014 it was exhausting. Later I felt the attorney I had then only wanted my money and literally stopped listening to me, so I was happy when I was out of court.In 2018 my child's father dragged me back in court and there I was again having to choose a attorney again and I felt like a new kid in school. So I picked poorly again, this attorney wanted me to agree with everything of the opposing attorney. It was insane and I felt I was in a car with someone with no breaks.Well I wasted a year with that attorney and I was felt like I was faced to give up but I was venting to my brother and well he knew a friend who went thru a divorce, this wonderful person shared a few names of offices to call. I got lucky!!! I called Anderson & Boback I spoke with Kim Anderson and I had a real conversation, I really like that it felt like I was talking to another real human being. I know that sounds strange but I can say I have a decent job I try to be a good adult and I understand problems a tad better but it means the world when you can relate with another real person!I look at needing a attorney like you need a new roof, you get a quality roof then the job will last you for years...This is how I see Anderson Boback and I feel like after having their firm represent me I don't see any leaks happening to my roof :)Kim referred Jessica Marshall and Jessica was great the opposing attorney and judge were a tad whacky, Jessica could soothe their troubled minds and for a brief moment they were normal and actually thought logically lol. I described talking to Jessica like talking to my best friend, I don't know all the lawyer jargon but she made it very easy to talk to and she let me know if I was thinking like a movie to much lol.I know I have written a lot and I hope I don't have too many grammatical errors but what I'm trying to say is "third time around really is a charm", this firm was my third encounter with custody lawyers and by far they are the best. I will always refer your firm like I work their lol but really I am truly grateful for the quality of work you administer.It's scary enough going to court not to mention when the love of your life turns into a troll and your faced with judge dredd when you can see your child, all I can say is choose Anderson and Bobak to keep you safe! :)read more
Christine T.
I had to go back to court again after 5 years of divorce. Jessica Sindel took care of my case. Very honest, patient, always able to explain everything in the case with great knowledge! I am glad it’s over now and will just file a petition to have my lawyer’s fee back... to me.read more
Virginia M.
Very please with the results of my case.Rachel Fleishman was assign to work in my case from the very beginning.Very responsive,understanding,responsible and efficient.She answered every question honestly and clearly and worked very hard until she got the outcome of... the case on my favour.I wouldn't hesitate on giving my recommendation to use Anderson & Boback legal services.Thak you allread more
J C.
I am not sure there are enough words to express my full heartfelt appreciation for Jessica Sindel at Anderson & Boback. Our case was far from a traditional custody dispute and the complications were not only endless but dealt with many layers of discrimination and... safety concerns. After many years of attempting my case pro se and with various attorneys that were not able to handle the uniqueness of our situations I was lead to Anderson & Boback in desperation for help and feeling defeated by the legal system.I will say our journey with their firm was not cheap but worth every single penny. Jessica Sindel was not only an incredible litigator for us but also a true advocate who made sure to be affirming to our family with diverse needs, including transgender individuals, a deaf parent and severe medical complications, and continued to fight tirelessly for the safety of my children. Even when everything seemed to be working against us, she went above and beyond her role to be an incredible support to me while also making sure I always knew the possible outcomes of each situation. I always felt informed and supported no matter how hard the situation and she was an incredible listener even in times I was an emotional mess full of fears and what ifs. I was prepared to spend another 10 years in this litigation but I’m so happy that in the end, not only was she able to help us get rights terminated from a problematic and dangerous parent, but continued with us to complete the second parent adoption so that our family is whole and complete.There is no one in the world I would have rather been able to be with us when the adoption was finalized. If you have any worries about hiring Jessica Sindel as your attorney I will leave you with this. She is more than just a great family law attorney but her diligence and perseverance will provide you with the true sense of safety and validation every step of the way. Our family will forever be grateful and refer her to anyone in need of support for their divorce, custody issues or adoption needs.Thank you Jessica Sindel and the entire team at Boback & Anderson.read more
Dee M.
I have been working with Kim Anderson and the firm of Anderson & Boback for my legal needs surrounding a breakdown in the life of my family and me.I spoke with the senior partner Jen Spence a year ago for an hour. I needed knowledge to balance out the fear that was... consuming me. I received an open ear listening and acknowledging my mental emotional intellectual state. At that time there were no legal points or recommendations to be given. It was a caring dialogue, and a endeavor of understanding, helping me gain a sense of where I was.The entire team that I work with now, after meeting Kim a year later is exceptional. I came to the understanding from the prior helpful conversation that I needed active representation. What has become a very important and wonderful realization is that Kim, Rachel, Olivia, all of the other members communicate so well in supporting each other that they are really seamless. The also work to support me and my spouse and children all. I am their client and they are a team for me and my family together. They actively listen exchange well with each other abide by what I want, unless it goes against my best interest, and they have put their foot down when I have adamantly wanted to make a choice in their experience was not, you're my best interest. Kim and her entire team take care.The financial aspect of this is important also, and they have handled it with absolute decency. They work with me to minimize the hurtful financial impact of what is going on. They help me to Garner resources in the right direction as I'm burning through them.I can't say they are the right firm for everyone. I can say that I unequivocally could not in any way shape or form have chosen a better team to bring on board, and help me navigate something with respect and love. Something impossible to do without the caring assistance of this group.read more
mark M.
I had a highly contentious and difficult international relocation case. Kim Anderson won the case. Relocation cases are extremely difficult, particularly international relocation cases. This is the only lawyer in Chicago you will want to talk to on this. I read some of... her articles online and consulted with her and I was glad I did. Nobody else could have done what she did. She fought hard against various delays, twists and turns. She is ethical and fights back hard against anyone who is not! She stands up to abuse of power and using the legal system to bully her clients. I felt safe and taken care of within the legal system for the first time within my case. If you want someone who will fight for you then this is the person for you. She has the experience, the expertise and the fighting spirit that you need. She is also straight up and to the point and very easy to relate to and work with. She is responsive and you get the sense she cares about her clients. The team around her are fantastic too and seem to work day and night. International relocations can be won-don't waste your time and money on anyone else-call Kim Anderson and her success.read more
K M.
We could not have been happier with the services provided by Anderson and Boback. If it were not for there experience in the type of case my family was involved in, I am convinced the outcome would not have been a positive one for us. Janice knew exactly how to respond... and to what we were entitled to do, bring and discuss during the phone sessions. I am sure it is a lot harder to have cases decided without in person conversations, but that is a reality of today's world. They knew exactly how to handle the situation.Hopefully never would we have to, but would not hesitate to use them again or recommend them in the specialty line of work they are expert in.read more
Wendy Z.
I could not have asked for better representation for my divorce than Jessica Sindel. Jessica was hardworking, thorough, intelligent, and practical. She got me everything I wanted with my settlement. She was always responsive, gave me regular updates, and I always knew... I had an excellent advocate. When the other side was being difficult and unresponsive, she handled it and moved the case along. I would highly recommend Jessica Sindel as an attorney.read more
Mary P
Boback/Anderson’s attorney Janice Boback was recommended And I do recommend her as one attorney who will adhere and work hard to serve the principles You believe in what ever the character of the opposing att. I strongly believe that family going through difficult... times should be served in a method respecting both sides with the least exposure possible to unnecessary painful processes.Att. Janice Boback esq. is the one you want ,who will persist on working in the utmost ethical manner to reach SETTLEMENTS and avoiding the un-needed processes that aim to serve interest of others than your family’s . She will explain to you your options what is legally possible and alternatives.When it comes to family issues, you will never regret choosing att Janice. She was and still is the best ethical and professional help during hard family times.read more
Isam H.
I recently worked with Jessica Marshall. She was informative, available, kind, and tough. I felt supported and she defintely knows what she is doing and how to get the job done. Highly recommend this firm.
Melyssa K.
Jan Boback was a great lawyer. She responded in a timely manner and answered all of my questions ( and there were a lot ). She's incredibly professional and takes her job seriously. I would definitely recommend her if you are in need of such services during a difficult... time.read more
Gurjot G.
Anderson and Boback have a professional, dedicated team who will fight for you and do everything in their power to help. They are kind, professional and kept be updated on my case. I VERY highly recommend their office. I worked with Genevieve Binnie on my latest case... and she went above and beyond!read more
Lisa S.
I had switched to Kim 6 mo into my case because I didn’t feel the firm at the time wasn’t very responsive, proactive and provided a good representation. Kim was a strong advocate for me in my case and fought like it’s her own battle. A great trial attorney. I was... awarded additional time as a result.read more
R. K
I worked with Alexandra Brinkmeier and she is a phenomenal lawyer and a great person as well. She cares about what she does and why she does it. I highly recommend her!!!
TC C.
My lawyer was awesome!!! The situation was handle with such care. They were always readily available which was great to handle daily details and constant issues that arose. I will refer them to everyone I know for the rest of my life. That is how much I appreciated... them!!! Thanks, Lisread more
Lisa A.
Very professional law firm. I had to use them for many years for a child case. I can say I'm very pleased with the outcome and would highly recommend this law firm. They were always on top of anything that needed to be done. They did a better job than the opposing... council with arguments and making sure the judge had all the necessary paperwork to help us win our case. Thanks!read more
Josh N
I have used other law firms in the past, and I can honestly say that none of them compares to the work of Alexandra. I now understand how crucial it is to have the right counsel by your side.She is by far the best counsel I’ve ever had. She was on top of my case since... day one, pays close attention to details, and answered all my questions in a timely manner. Alexandra is deeply knowledgeable and with her experience, she has made my case get positive results.I will forever be grateful to Alexandra C. Brinkmeier. Alexandra Thank You!!!read more
Antonio R.
prior to finding and retaining Anderson & Boback, i had two previous lawyers. both of my prior attornies let the process drag on, and would not challenge opposing counsel. several issues surfaced during this time and my prior attornies were unwilling or unable to... address them.After an initial meeting with Kim Anderson, I did not hesitate to hire her as my now 3rd lawyer. Kim and Genevieve Binnie quickly familiarized themselves with the case. Kim and Genevieve are knowledgable, professional, and very confident. Kim and Genevieve gave me the impression that i was their only client. I was never told that they were too busy or had other important meetings to address my concerns, as my previous lawyers often did. just recently my case went to trial. although the judge has not made a ruling yet, i am confident in a favorable outcome for the case that Kim and Genevieve put on. i cannot thank them enough for their hard work. Both Kim and Genevieve are skilled, and excellent attornies. I highly recommend Anderson & Boback!read more
james B.
Highly recommend they helped me get a long over due child support modification. Props to Attorney Sindel for all her hard work and putting up with me.
Jason B.
Anderson & Boback was our 3rd Lawfirm for a family court issue. The others were mean, rude, disrespectful, & unresponsive. A & B was very courteous, respectful, & knowledgeable! They were great! They maintained their professionalism in very dicey situations.I’ll use... them again if needed!read more
Lorenzo L.
I will recommend Jessica Marshall as an excellent attorney for child custody and family law cases. From the moment she took on my case, she was determined to help me achieve my desired outcome (of course in the best interest of my son).Jessica worked diligently on my... case and showed compassion through out the year long custody battle. She has the knowledge, wit and compassion that it takes to represent and fight for a fathers rights.If you ever need or know someone in need of a family law attorney, Jessica is the one for you.read more
Solomon M.
i was involved in a very complicated custody battle. My attorney was Kim Anderson. She stepped up & took my case when 5 other law firms would not. Kim showed professionalisms, integrity & most importantly for me, heart. She diligently fought for almost 4 years to... make sure I had a positive outcome. Kim is not afraid to take on a challenge & give it all she’s got for her clients. I don’t know where my family would be today if not for Kim Anderson.read more
Peggy K.
For years, I have been bombarded with bad-faith petitions by my daughter's biological father; Though we've lived in Florida since my daughter was 17 months old (she'll be 12 in a week), the jurisdiction has remained, sadly, in Illinois. Her father has an unlimited... amount of money to waste, and as a single mother of two, and a Florida educator, I do not; I have struggled to fly back and forth to Chicago from Florida, fighting Pro-Se because I've not been able to afford an attorney. I've had to incur costs to fly to Chicago, lose work time, lose time with my family, and simply continue to be harassed with no end in sight. Recently, after being bombarded again- now with 'emergency petitions' with no merit to them, but simply designed to ensure I am not able to fly within 24 hours from Florida to Chicago to defend myself, my family members said, "ENOUGH!". I was referred to Janice Boback from a dear family friend, and another family member loaned me the retainer fee, which is very reasonable. Janice, with only 36 hours to prepare for a hearing, was a ROCK STAR! It was the first time I felt that the 'little guy' won a victory! She was laser sharp, calm, and unrelenting - Everything was dismissed against me! My daughter's best interest was supported, and the Judge, because it was a hearing, was finally made aware of the facts. After almost two hours, the judge stated he finds me, "Completely credible, honest, and in no way attempting to interfere with [my] daughter's relationship with her biological father"... He went on to tell her father, "She is not responsible for 'spoon-feeding' you information about your daughter."... POETIC JUSTICE! Janice is my HERO - A Peaceful Warrior who is steady in a sea of chaos, ready to lift onto her shoulders those whose voice has been drowned out! Thank you!read more
Rosanne H.
Wonderful law firm! Jessica Marshall is a terrific attorney. Not only is she an expert in family law, she listens, she cares, and she gets to the bottom of the issues to protect the best interests of children involved and the client. She's aggressive and practical and... the one you want on your side. Everyone that I have worked with at this firm has been helpful, skilled, and extremely professional.read more
LV
I have worked with Jan for several years after finding her through Google Reviews. She has been a tremendous asset to my case. She is always responsive and willing to help. She is extremely knowledgeable of the law and is always realistic about expectations.... Ultimately, I got the BEST possible outcome for my case due to Jan’s diligence. I am so glad she is on my side!read more
Krystal H.
Ms. Boback is an excellent legal resource. She collaborated with me on possible solutions for a mutual client concerning a complicated matter that implicated the laws of multiple states. She was knowledgeable, helpful, and practical. She certainly earned my highest... endorsement.read more
James L.
While looking to switch to a female attorney for a very contentious separation involving a child with an exe, I came across the law firm of Anderson & Boback. They were very prompt with the call-back response to my inquiry and connected me with Janice right away.... Janice took a substantial amount of time to speak with me, to better understand the complexities in my case, and she offered great insight.I found this firm to very compassionate and understanding in how to navigate the legal system in this matter and also in their understanding of the sort of individual I unfortunately have to deal with and the associated legal games separating parents may face.I would have absolutely sought Anderson & Boback’s council but there was a conflict and with my case already advanced, I chose another female attorney. Based on my initial experience, I would definitely recommend this firm!read more
Lucy M.
You get what you pay for... !After firing our first attorney because quite frankly he was in over his head with our case we hired Jessica Marshall from Anderson and Boback.Jessica was responsive, attentive, has a hyper attention to detail and of course, knows the... laws relating to the litigation of custody, child support, and parenting time inside and out. At no point did we feel Jessica was not ontop of our case and ready to see our case all the way through to a trial. She managed expectations. Under promised, over delivered!No trail, an agreement in place with the parenting time we wanted and a manageable child support order was the end result of a bitter child support and parenting time case.Hopefully we will not have to utilize Jessica’s services again but in the event that we need to, we have full confidence in her abilities. She did an outstanding job for us. Cannot say enough about how pleased we are as a result of Jessica’s services. Highly recommend!read more
Devere J.
I could not be more impressed or appreciative for this firm's work. Kimberly Anderson is professional, benefits from an exceptional reputation in the legal community, and understands how to make a difficult process easier. Her availability to answer questions and... strategize goes far beyond what I've experienced with other lawyers. I highly recommend her firm.read more
John D.
Kim Anderson is a fantastic attorney. I was very stressed and scared over possible outcome of my case. Kim successfully defended me and helped me move forward with my life. I can't honestly thank her enough.
Jason G.
I was in an existing parentage case that had been drawn out for about a year and a half with little being done, before I decided to switch firms to Anderson & Boback. Kim Anderson reached out to me immediately upon my inquiry and it was very clear to me that she was... interested in what I had to say, and genuine in her responses to my questions. In taking on my case, she showed strong support for the outcome I wanted, gave very reasonable advice to help me get there, and brought experience to the table to guide me in my own decision making. She kept things moving, and so within only a few months of bringing her on, we were able to wrap up the case with a great outcome. Couldn't be more pleased. Thank you so much Kim!read more
Suzanne P.
Absolutely wonderful, are just some of the adjectives I can use to describe the wonderful women at Anderson and Boback. Kimberly Anderson is a tough hard-nosed lawyer who knows what she's doing and the direction she wants to go when it comes to fighting for her client.... Since the day I contacted this firm because of the deteriorating circumstances involving my ex-wife, she listened to me and gave sound advice. When it came time to fight in the courtroom, she was more than ready and communicative throughout the entire process with the first emergency order, which we won. This happened on two more occasions before our day in court and she still fought hard winning each time. The communication was excellent as she explained the possible outcomes and worst case scenarios before each case. I couldn't have come into contact with a better lawyer. Kim is outstanding and she stays abreast of current changes occurring within our legal system. In instances when Kim personally couldn't be there, Jessica Marshall stepped in her place and did a wonderful job. Our last victory was culminated with Kim still giving her all to fight for me, when she was dealing with her own health issue; that honestly meant a lot to me because she was not only displaying her passion to fight for her client but her dedication to obtaining best possible solution for a father who was being denied his parental rights. All I can say is, if you're contemplating on hiring these wonderful women at Anderson and Boback, DO IT! You will not regret your decision because they will fight for you and they are just wonderful from the paralegals, to the lawyers, and partners they're TOP NOTCH! Not only in the state of Illinois but I'd put them against any lawyer nationally.read more
Bruce J.
I just want to say that Kimberly Anderson is an amazing lawyer!! She is smart and easy to talk too. She is willing to listen to you and what you want. She helped me in more ways than she knows. She always answers your calls or emails and if you don’t understand... something she is more than willing to explain it . She also won’t sugar coat things and has your best interest in mind. I will recommend her to anyone that needs a divorce lawyer. Also the people who work with her are friendly and always willing to help in any way they can.read more
Kate G.
My sister had used thier services and I can actually say THEY ARE F***KING GOOD .. I seen them in action they WON. I can actually say I want them on my side..
Maria H.
Jan Boback represented me in a domestic order of protection case. Her expertise and performance in court was nothing but stellar! She knew every aspect of the law related to this issue and very clearly communicated the conforming facts of the case to the judge. The... judge, even though they have full discretion, could not argue with Jan's facts, how they conformed and her very calm presentation. She read the judge's body language which has a big factor in court when you are dealing with a judge you've never been before in the past.Jan is nothing but outstanding at her job.I've referred her to others and will continue to do so.Deanread more
Dean K.
I was very grateful to do business with Janice Boback.I am a strong believer in God, Justice, and “Janice”.She expressed extreme knowledge in the law pertaining to my case. Her winner attitude and great communication skills always kept my mind at peace.The trust... connection and bond between Janice and I was priceless.I always felt protected under her guidance with complete awareness of the status and all possible outcomes to my case.She was always available to answer or explain any questions or concerns I had.She is truly the attorney to have if the situation arises.read more
Larisa H.
Kim Anderson has a knack for staying 1-step ahead of me and my thought process. This is extremely helpful in those moments when I am stressed on legalities and not quite thinking straight. Kim also capably breaks the legal speak into everyday terms that I can... understand. Kim is an excellent attorney who is prompt, diligent and professional. The team at Anderson & Boback was invaluable in guiding me through my divorce as well as resettlement issues that I initiated after the divorce. Thanks for all your help Kim!read more
Michael C.
Jessica Marshall was amazing! My divorce should have been an easy process, since we didn't have any children or assets; however the opposing party was adamant on making it complicated. Jessica not only kept me informed of everything that was happening but advised me on... the best course of action to get divorced within a reasonable time-frame and without it costing me everything I owned. I couldn't thank her enough once it was all over. I can now move on with my life and it's because of her.read more
Jenny R.
Jessica is Amazing! She is kind, thoughtful, detailed oriented. She is quick in responding. She is knowledgeable. She fought for me in court and not afraid to speak up for her client. She has this confidence in return I feel confidence. She gives me good advices and... helping me to make right decisions. I am so very grateful she is my attorney.read more
Daranee A.
Jessica Marshall sat with me and supported me from the moment of our first consult to the final court appearance. No question went unanswered, no call/email left unreturned, and no doubt that she was on my side and ready to work. Jessica handled my case with confidence... and empathy, which I greatly appreciate given court can, often times, feel overwhelming. Cost was worth every penny and I know that every dollar was earned. I am grateful that the outcome was in my daughter’s favor and that she is now safe. My daughter will be forever thankful for finally having her voice heard in court, as Jessica suggested, through a child rep. I also want to acknowledge Gianna Carabez, Jessica’s paralegal, for always being kind and available to take my calls.read more
Sara G.
I have worked with lawyers in the past, Jan I feel really took care of me! She always had time for me, was very good at getting back to me when she was busy. In court I could see she handled her self confidently and was respected by other lawyers and also the judge. I... have recommended her to friends and family and will continue to do so!read more
Jim B.
This practice will go above and beyond! During a difficult time they were understanding and helpful.Very responsive! I received a fair and favorable outcome. I recommend contacting them immediately to get the ball rolling.
Antiwon S.
After visiting with two other law firms, I selected Anderson & Boback. They are professional! The former office was bright and pleasant. The receptionists are professional. The attorney I was assigned listened to my story and then prepared a course of action. I am... glad I chose Anderson & Boback to handle my divorce case. I highly recommend them!read more
Richard P.
Kim came as a referral from a great friend of mine. This wasn't an easy process to go through, but Kim gave me great guidance and help along the way. Wouldn't have gotten the outcome I wanted without her and her team.
Meghan M.
In April of 2016, I had an urgent need for a family attorney to help me litigate some critical issues unresolved from my divorce decree ordered by the cook county family court in 2011. I interviewed 3 attorneys and ended up picking the last one I felt was the best out... of the three. What a mistake I made after two months of litigation and more than $10,000 legal fees. In July, I interviewed two more attorneys and I selected attorney Anderson to replace the previous attorney. What a switch I made! All the critical issues were litigated and resolved to my complete satisfaction. Attorney Andersen has a very simple way of serving her client: she will listen to my story and ask what legal outcome I am expecting to get, and she will recommend a course of action and get me the result in the most cost effective manner. In short, when you give your problems to attorney Anderson for solutions, you can go home and sleep well.read more
Dean C
Kim handled both of our adoptions for us and made the process so easy. When you’re overwhelmed with all of the legal details it’s so nice knowing you’ve got someone who will attend to them so you can focus on other things. Very professional and highly recommended!
Cd J.
In 2015 Ms. Anderson handled my divorce. She was professional and completely transparent with the process and what to expect. I would recommend her to anyone seeking a good family law attorney.
John A.
Kim is very professional and cared about your case. Always there when you need her. Thanks for all your hard work.
Kim S.
js_loader

Schedule a Discreet Consultation Today!

    Firm Overview
    ANDERSON & BOBACK

    Anderson & Boback is a highly-respected, experienced Chicago family law firm, skilled in negotiation and litigation. When divorce and other family law issues make your life chaotic and uncertain, you want your case resolved as quickly and fairly as possible. Call Now 312-715-0870