It can be challenging for divorced parents to navigate the holidays, particularly if they are sharing parental responsibilities with their children. We hope that you and your children will have a wonderful holiday season if you make preparations in advance, maintain an open mind, and implement some of these coparenting tips.
Plan Ahead and Get Organized
Not only should you make preparations in advance, but you should also be organized. By doing so, you will be able to avoid disagreements, which will ultimately make your relationship with your co-parenting partner easier. Consider purchasing a calendar and marking off the time you spend with your children to accomplish this goal. By doing so, everyone is aware of the times when their children are free or busy. You can also take the time to identify any communication tools that might be useful in coordinating holiday season schedules and activities. These tools could be anything from apps to traditional paper calendars.
There is nothing more frustrating than having a disagreement over how to schedule visits with one’s child during a visit from family members during the holiday season. However, it is possible for both parents to come together on this issue if they do some planning ahead of time through the process of working out a schedule before beginning!
Keep Your Holiday Season Expectations in Check
- Do not have the expectation that the other parent can read your mind.
- Do not have the expectation that the other parent will be an ideal parent.
- It is unreasonable to anticipate that the other parent will be able to perform all of the tasks that you are capable of.
- Make sure you don’t expect that the other parent will be able to fulfill all of your requests.
Establish Brand New Traditions
Put forth an effort to establish new customs with your family. Keeping the children interested and engaged is something that should be a priority at all times, and a fun activity during the holidays is an excellent way to accomplish this goal. Consider beginning with something simple, such as introducing a new dish or activity that the entire family can enjoy together, or even just the two of you and your children with each other.
Take a Creative Approach to Activities That Are Compromised
You might get the impression that you have to carry out everything in the same manner as you did in past holiday seasons. Because children want something, it is assumed that they require it. This is a common misconception. Nevertheless, this is not factual.
If two parents want to create a unified holiday experience for their children, there are some ways to do so: You should look for ways to reach a compromise and let your ex-partner participate in the planning of activities. As an additional wonderful method for assisting children in comprehending the relationship between their parents, this could entail taking turns organizing an excursion or dividing up responsibilities between yourself and the other parent of your child.
For instance, if a parent plans what they will do with their children on Christmas Day, they can use this as a source of inspiration when developing a plan for other days throughout the month of December, such as Hanukkah or Kwanza. Together, if both parents have something planned for each day, they should determine how those activities can be coordinated in the most effective way to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to spend time with family members and friends at various times throughout the month of December without having an excessive number of commitments at the same time.
Be Flexible
Maintain a flexible attitude toward your children. It is essential to keep in mind that the requirements of your children should take precedence during the holiday season, which can be an emotionally charged time for everyone. Try taking a deep breath, then another, and keep doing so until the unpleasant feelings pass if you ever feel like you are having a bad day. Do not put undue pressure on yourself to complete everything in a single day, particularly if there are a variety of tasks involved and each one requires concentration. You should make sure to give yourself some time off as well, because your children will benefit from having a parent who is attentive to them rather than one who rushes through everything.
Establish Communication as a Top Priority
Maintaining open lines of communication from the beginning is essential. You should schedule a time to discuss the holidays with your partner, and you should make sure that they are on board with any decisions that you make. Determine in advance, if at all possible, a schedule for holiday visits with the children. This will ensure that your home does not become a scene similar to that of Chicago Union Station during the celebrations.
Wherever you can, make use of technology. You can keep track of everyone’s plans with the assistance of a family calendar, and you should also make sure to include your own appointments on the calendar. If it is difficult for everyone to get together at the same time, you might also think about using texting or video chat. This way, you can continue to communicate without having to engage in a lengthy conversation over the phone or in person.
Get Support
When you are dealing with the stress of co-parenting holiday plans, it is essential to keep in mind that you are not the only one going through this. Even after the holidays have passed, there is a plethora of information and resources that are accessible to families. Your former partner or even other members of your family may be able to assist you. If the amount of work involved in organizing holiday celebrations is overwhelming, think about talking to a therapist or counselor. They will be able to assist you in thinking through your options and finding ways to alleviate some of the pressure that you are feeling on yourself.
For an overview on co-parenting during the holidays, watch the following video:
You Can Have a Happy Holiday Season Coparenting with Your Ex.
Yes, it is possible, you and your ex can work together to make it a special time for your children.
- Spend time with your child(dren) by having them help pick out gifts or decorate the house and tree.
- Allow your child to have guests over during the holiday season so they feel extra special
- If your relationship with the other parent is amicable, each parent could make one family meal; this could be cooking together in the kitchen or ordering takeout that everyone likes and eating together.
This year, you can get through the holidays with your ex by planning ahead and being flexible. Try to keep your expectations in check and find creative ways to compromise on activities that both of you enjoy. Make communication a priority so that you don’t have any surprises, and you’ll find a happy holiday season is possible!
If you find challenges with co-parenting during the holidays and believe it is time to modify your Allocation Judgment, contact Anderson Boback & Marshall to speak to one of our Chicago child custody attorneys.
