Time and time again, I am faced with the mother in distress because she has found out that the father of her child seeks Joint Custody. Or if I represent the father, then he is convinced that unless he gets Joint Custody, somehow he has lost his parental rights. In Illinois, the focus now is more on parenting agreements.
Table of Contents
- First, Stop Worrying About What Something Is Called
- If You Are in the Midst of a Chicago Child Custody Litigation, Make a List
- What to Focus On in Your Parenting Agreement
- Practical Considerations
- Concentrate on What Matters in a Parental Agreement
- Why the Specifics Matter More Than Labels
- Advice from the Trenches
First, Stop Worrying About What Something Is Called
Giving you a title to something doesn’t ensure that you are being given anything, or that anything is being taken away. For instance, would you rather have a Sole Custody Judgment in which you are with your child three nights a week, along with you every other weekend, or would you rather have a Joint Custody Judgment that allows you parenting time every other weekend? Don’t look at what it is called, but instead concentrate on what you are getting.
If You Are in the Midst of a Chicago Child Custody Litigation, Make a List
How much time do you want to spend with your child? That is what is important. Make sure that the list of items important to you is in the agreement. Do you get to go speak to your child’s teachers and attend teacher-parent conferences? Do you get to speak to your child’s coaches, attend practices, and appear at the games? These are the types of things that are important.
What to Focus On in Your Parenting Agreement
If you’re in the midst of negotiating your parenting agreement, prioritize the specifics over the titles:
- Decision-Making: Who has the authority over educational, healthcare, and religious decisions?
- Parenting Time: How much physical time will you actually spend with your child?
- Flexibility and Practicality: Does the agreement suit your work schedule and your child’s school logistics?
These elements will dictate your daily life and your relationship with your child, not the custody label.
Practical Considerations
- Education Choices: In the suburbs, the choice of public schools is generally limited to the nearest one, so the type of custody doesn’t affect this.
- Religion: Under any custody arrangement, you can take your child to your chosen place of worship during your allotted time.
- Healthcare: If your child is generally healthy, detailed decisions might be few and far between.
Concentrate on What Matters in a Parental Agreement
Think about what you want, work with your child custody attorney, and negotiate for that. If you both can agree to Joint Custody, then fine, but most of the time, you can negotiate for what is important to you, and forget about what it is called.
Why the Specifics Matter More Than Labels
Illinois law has evolved from traditional custody labels to emphasize “allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time.” This change highlights that the substance of the agreement—how you and your child interact and make decisions—is more important than the label attached to it.
Advice from the Trenches
Forget the labels. Concentrate on negotiating the terms that matter most to you and your child’s well-being. Work with a knowledgeable child custody attorney to ensure your parenting agreement reflects your priorities and provides the best possible outcome for your child.
